Things that will change

Most of you reading this have already gotten the in-retrospect-ridiculously-stupid e-mail I sent as an "anonymous" confession. Anyway, I figured I should let you in on the things that this will change.

1. I will no longer mention my awesome wife, my horrible mother, or my dead sister, because none of them exist.

2. I will no longer mention my totally awesome body because, again, it doesn't exist.

3. I'll set up a new blog. If you're not a shithead, I'll give you a link to it.

And, really, that's it. So: If you like me for more than the fact that I have awesome tits and give the best cyber blowjob in all the land, cool. If not, you may proceed to bitch and whine and such.

The latest blog in which I piss some people off.

I must say, I'm really not a fan of the new WordPress blogs. Butch, as is his style, has managed to turn his new home into something gorgeous, but I miss the simple elegance of his all-black Blogger look. Rob's just looks plain weird, and while KS desperately needed to shake up the stalkery look of TBA, I can't say the new look is anything other than "different." I'm all for making changes every once in a while (as will be evidenced whenever I get around to changing the scheme here), but they should be made for the sake of quality, not the sake of change. Now, maybe WordPress is incredibly simple and easy to use. Still, I think I'll stick with the Blogger for now. At least until our Google overlords decide that it's time to be evil. On the other hand (I think this is the fourth or fifth hand of this ramble), they could be like the guy who made the Evil Overlord List, in which case I would happily serve as Obligatory Evil Hot Chick.

Butch's new blog makes mine look like crap.

Or better. Or something. I dunno.

IMPROMPTU POLL TIME!

Who's blog looks better: Mine or Butch's?

(Please ignore the fact that the people reading this question will be unfairly influenced by the fact that they're on my blog. And that I'm not above sleeping with people to sway the voting.)

Hail to the me, cause the me's going to DC...

As part of my participation in the NTI Program for the Dirt Poor, Really Stupid and/or Not White, I have been randomly selected for a trip to Washington, DC right after graduation. That is, as they say, awesome.

*sigh*

I know it's early, but man our offense sucks. Yesterday the Rangers' pitchers only had to throw 101 total pitches to get through all nine innings. Whatever happened to working the count and making them make mistakes?

What have I done?!?

I made my blog look like...like...a GIRL'S blog!!!

Oh, wait. I'm a girl. Well, then I guess it's okay.

Hope you all like the new new look of Jeneral Information. Didn't bother to figure out a way to save yesterday's color scheme, so for anyone reading this in the future and wondering what I meant by my April Fool's post yesterday: I changed the colors. They were hideous.

You know, guys...

...I kinda decided there wasn't any need for an April Fool's joke this year. Sorry. Just enjoy the new layout (which I LOVE, by the way), and go elsewhere for your little bits of hijinkery.

The annual tradition, Part II

It's finally back!

AL EAST
Yankees
Red Sox (Wild Card)
Blue Jays
Devil Rays
Orioles

I don't know how they'll do it, but they will. The Yankees always win this division, even if their rotation sucks and their lineup features Doug Mientkiewicz. They'll win the division.

AL CENTRAL
Tigers
Indians
Twins
White Sox
Royals

Everyone always says "Watch out for the Indians!" and, as someone who is friends with an Indians fan, I do my duty and "watch out" as the Tribe fail to post a winning record. This year, I'm not buying it (which means they're a shoo-in for the World Series). The White Sox are falling apart at the seams, and even without That Guy I Traded Soriano For the Twins won't have much difficulty passing them. A small regression by the Tigers' pitching will be compensated for by the addition of Gary Sheffield.

AL WEST
Angels
Athletics
Rangers
Mariners

This is a case of me going with conventional wisdom because I don't know anything else. I grabbed Sammy Sosa in the CPU Draft league, so I'd like to have him put up a big year. But beyond that, the smart money apparently lies with the Angels, so they're my pick.

NL EAST
Mets
Braves
Phillies
Marlins
Nationals

I don't love the Mets rotation, but I apparently like it more than most people. Don't sleep on Oliver Perez, or you'll live to regret it. Any of the top three could take it here, but the Marlins are going to fall back in a big way from 2006.

NL CENTRAL
Cubs
Cardinals (Wild Card)
Astros
Brewers
Pirates
Reds

I really shouldn't be picking the Cubs, given that they're the Cubs, but I am. On paper, St. Louis should be awful. Hell, they weren't much more than that last year, and they wound up winning the World Series! As for the rest: Feh. Even with Roger (who will go back to Houston, MMW), the Astros just aren't that good.

NL WEST
Padres
Diamondbacks
Dodgers
Giants
Rockies

The Padres, in my opinion, have the best rotation in baseball, and that's not even counting the fact that they play in a pitchers' park. Their offense will be a little better than people think, and that pitching staff will take them all the way to the NL pennant. Unless it turns out that David Wells was drinking beer filled with awesome juice.

PLAYOFFS
Red Sox over Angles
Tigers over Yankees
Red Sox over Tigers

Padres over Cardinals
Mets over Cubs
Padres over Mets

Red Sox over Padres

The annual tradition

Every year, I wait until the very last minute and then submit my WrestleMania and MLB predictions. This year: No different. Let's start with WrestleMania.

WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
Shawn Michaels (Challenger) v. John Cena (Champion)
I desperately want Michaels to win, and I (along with 85% of the people watching) will be rooting for him. But, alas, it is not to be. He may be Triple H's buddy, but HBK isn't Triple H. And The Game is the only one who can save us from the "Marine". My pick: Cena.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
The Undertaker (Challenger) v. Batista (Champion)
Undertaker won the Royal Rumble, which used to mean that he got an automatic berth in the main event. But, because he's on SmackDown (also known as "That show Cena isn't on"), he gets to slum it 4th from the top. The good news: He gets a Big Gold Belt for his trouble. My pick: Undertaker.

BATTLE OF THE BILLIONAIRES
Bobby Lashley (Representing Donald Trump) v. Umaga (Representing Vince McMahon)
I seriously hope that nobody thinks Lashley's going to lose here. My pick: Lashley.

WWE WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP: LUMBERJILL MATCH
Ashley (Challenger) v. Melina (Champion)
What we need to do is have a semi-competent wrestler pose for Playboy. Then she can trick the writers into thinking that she's what the fans want to see! *rolls eyes* My pick: Ashley.

MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH
Edge v. Randy Orton v. CM Punk v. Mr. Kennedy v. Finlay v. King Booker v. Matt Hardy v. Jeff Hardy
Edge's recent injury is troubling, but he can hide out, let the other seven guys do the heavy lifting, and win the match. Then Orton turns on him, puts him on the shelf so he can heal up, and Edgeward gets up to a year to recuperate. WWE won't take away his undefeated streak. My pick: Edge.

WWE UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP
Montel Vontavious Porter (Challenger) v. Chris Benoit (Champion)
In the weeks leading up to this match, MVP has beaten up on various jobbers claiming to hail from foreign lands (way to increase your global appeal, WWE!), while Benoit's been serving the role of invisible man. Apparently Chris is supposed to jump to Raw soon; I guess the writers really liked making him tap to the STFU. My pick: MVP.

EIGHT-MAN TAG MATCH
Rob Van Dam, Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman and Sabu v. Elijah Burke, Matt Striker, Kevin Thorn and Monty Brown
I, like any person with a semblance of taste, stopped watching ECW a long time ago. So I might have the teams messed up, or something. But I know enough to know that the new guys are going to beat the old guys because the old guys aren't going to have jobs pretty soon.

WE CAN'T HAVE A WRESTLEMANIA WITHOUT MAKING GLEN JACOBS HATE HIS LIFE MATCH
The Great Khali v. Kane
Poor Glen. Occasionally he gets to work with Taker, but more often he's thrown into necrophilia and miscarriages and The Great Khali. My pick: Khali.

It's madness, I tells ya! MADNESS!

Head on over here and sign up to join an existing league. Which league, you ask? League #150015. The league password is bracket. There, we shall partake in the glory of March Madness, as well as laughing at all of our failed, miserable picks. Especially mine.